This Is Life, Kid!

Contrary to the normal youth, halloween and I never truly got along. Our chemistry was very well, explosive, and not in a good way. Something funny I have noticed is how I am constantly comparing the now to different time periods in my life—specifically last year. Something funny I have learned is how truly different my day to day is. Every morning holds a a fresh consideration, and more importantly no two sunsets are the same. Maybe halloween has not been great to me but this is 365 and 1/4 days later and I have decided it has been completely ludicrous of me to judge it before it happens. Like my favorite Jimmy Eat World song goes “gonna let everything just happen.” Simple, yet beautiful. The humor in irony is key to the life I would like to lead these next few months. Settle? I will try not to but maybe lack of attention is not the worst of things… maybe alone is not the worst of times. Afterall, I have met so many people that have truly changed my life at this young age of 19 years, I cannot even imagine what is next to come. One thing I am sure of is it’s not always sunny in the city but that is why I bought Christmas lights.

Take care, Jamie

you’re absolutely ridiculous.

i hate your hair

i hate your skin

i hate the way you piece your words together like I’m the only person you’re talking to

i hate how you use me for lyrical influence and dump me off to the side until you’re ready to open enough for inspiration

i hate how when i’m question i mention you’re name first

i hate how everything fits perfectly but you won’t let us

i hate how our homes made us think we weren’t right at any point

i hate how i grew up and you’re afraid to notice

i hate how i’ve only written one song but it plays in my head every time i think of anything

i hate how you’re voice is on repeat in my head i hate every word i have meant to but never said rolls of the tips of my limbs into lyrics you won’t bother to comment on

i hate how i have one left and won’t use it

i hate how i have all of these to share that you won’t be grateful of i hate how i’m waiting for you to ask me to be happy for you

i hate how all these things

i hate are only because i’m waiting for you to give me the okay to feel them because i know any other way would be poison i know any other way would bring me to tears and now that it has been a year i think i deserve more than that.

that in itself makes me think endlessly. but it’s all gotten me nowhere. i’ve felt the same for so long. i will progress somehow.

Our lives will piece themselves together at the same time

We’re seeing stars simultaneously.

No surprises—just love

I’ll wait for you there and miss you here—it’s nothing new with you

I’ll still think of you daily even the weeks when im not part of your inbox

Because it’s humor that keeps us here

A melody everyone else we know forgot

I cannot remember you any which way because we still speak the same.

Dispite our public romance and its public derterioration 

Something will always catch me when it comes to us

I will be front row, the first to take my hat off

My lines will never move you. My heart will never move you.

In these passing some-odd months when your fear to really speak with me resurfaces,

While these static eyes wander around the rooms we sit in together—we’re not together.

I will still be thinking the thoughts I always was, and always will be

It’s still there. It’s still here.

We’re still seeing stars.

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